Zedyimpangess is a god.

It takes the form of a very small, cheerful bear.

Zedyimpangess created matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Zedyimpangess, it will remain indifferent to you.

If you do not believe in Zedyimpangess, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Zedyimpangess' most sacred site is Ringford in Scotland.

Zedyimpangess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not trade with those who eat oranges.

2. Run away if six geese approach from the south.

3. Zedyimpangess loves porpoises, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Never think about deoxyribonucleic acid.