Sintapcap Ligdusshav is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, egotistical gorilla.

Sintapcap Ligdusshav created silver three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Sintapcap Ligdusshav, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Sintapcap Ligdusshav, he will turn you into a plant.

Sintapcap Ligdusshav's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Sintapcap Ligdusshav's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear shorts.

2. Do not commit murder.

3. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

4. Respect your elders.

5. Run away if three shrews approach from the north.