Kabvedran is a god.

It takes the form of a huge, deceitful fly.

Kabvedran created gold three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Kabvedran, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Kabvedran, it will send four elephants to rub you out.

Kabvedran's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Kabvedran's Holy Commandments

1. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

2. Do not make images of living things.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. Never write about spacetime.

5. Do not dye your hair indigo.