Gupgumyarl is a god.

It takes the form of a plump, omnipotent slug.

Gupgumyarl created humanity eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Gupgumyarl, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Gupgumyarl, it will send you a strongly worded letter.

Gupgumyarl's most sacred site is Aimala in Finland.

Gupgumyarl's Holy Commandments

1. Never sit in the presence of shrews.

2. Always take life seriously.

3. Always stare at clouds.

4. You must pray to Gupgumyarl seven times a day.

5. Never talk about optics near pigs while wearing black kilts and balancing eight nickel spheres on your arms.