Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic squirrel.

Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt created the planet Earth seven million years ago.

If you believe in Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt, she will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt's most sacred site is Ringsted in Denmark.

Mottargarjamrilyokbetomt's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about eukaryotes.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.