Tofarnmut is a god.

He takes the form of a corpulent, omnipotent fly.

Tofarnmut created the Cigar Galaxy six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tofarnmut, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Tofarnmut, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Tofarnmut's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Tofarnmut's Holy Commandments

1. Never hop in holy places.

2. Do not drink alcohol.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. You must pray to Tofarnmut nine times a day.

5. Do not make images of living things.