Bedjarnkik is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, conceited jaguar.

Bedjarnkik created the Black Eye Galaxy four years ago.

If you believe in Bedjarnkik, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bedjarnkik, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Bedjarnkik's most sacred site is Cobbelsdorf in Germany.

Bedjarnkik's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. Never eat green fruit.

3. Never eat bark.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.