Tonknutcan is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, intelligent hummingbird.

Tonknutcan created Asia five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tonknutcan, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tonknutcan, it will turn you into a goat.

Tonknutcan's most sacred site is Dimson in England.

Tonknutcan's Holy Commandments

1. Tonknutcan loves eagles, so they must be honoured.

2. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Hide from brown great tits for they are unholy.

5. Never talk about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.