Cissruljan is a god.

She takes the form of a thin, irritating horse.

Cissruljan created light six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cissruljan, she will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Cissruljan, she will turn you into a sparrow.

Cissruljan's most sacred site is Landsort in Sweden.

Cissruljan's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about otters.

2. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Never pour water over plants.