Gepmidhub is a god.

He takes the form of a large, emotional narwhal.

Gepmidhub created bats five million years ago.

If you believe in Gepmidhub, he will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Gepmidhub, he will not care.

Gepmidhub's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Gepmidhub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of copper.

2. Never eat coconuts.

3. Never paint your feet brown.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Always wear white.