Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok is a god.

It takes the form of a very long, confident bat.

Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok created dark energy nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok, it will be happy.

If you do not believe in Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok, it will torture you forever.

Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok.

2. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Tifnilsterkarnelvadkinyok.

3. Do not listen to music.

4. Do not trade with those who eat peas.

5. Never hurt grasshopers.