Kikvabkik is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, conceited sheep.

Kikvabkik created the Tadpole Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Kikvabkik, he will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Kikvabkik, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Kikvabkik's most sacred site is Dornbock in Germany.

Kikvabkik's Holy Commandments

1. Retreat if five monkeys approach from the south.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Always take life seriously.

4. Show mercy to disobedient children.

5. Always obey Kikvabkik's priests.