Arfbumbell is a god.

It takes the form of a six hundred metre long, wise whale.

Arfbumbell created water three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Arfbumbell, it will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Arfbumbell, it will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Arfbumbell's most sacred site is Diebzig in Germany.

Arfbumbell's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the east.

2. Never write about the weak nuclear force.

3. Walk at least seven thousand metres per day.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Arfbumbell.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.