Venboglam is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, unthoughtful unicorn.

Venboglam created snails seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Venboglam, she will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Venboglam, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Venboglam's most sacred site is Metsimotlhabe in Botswana.

Venboglam's Holy Commandments

1. Look mercifully on unfortunate tortoises.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Venboglam.

3. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

4. Never think ill of sick bats.

5. Do not dye your hair brown.