Sakbutmit is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, proud guinea pig.

Sakbutmit created the universe three billion years ago.

If you believe in Sakbutmit, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Sakbutmit, she will attempt to scare you with thunder.

Sakbutmit's most sacred site is Mazunte in Mexico.

Sakbutmit's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Pray towards the east.

4. Do not wear lead on your body.

5. Always make sure there are no gulls in a building before entering it.