Gepjigshav is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, self-confident jaguar.

Gepjigshav created water three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Gepjigshav, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Gepjigshav, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Gepjigshav's most sacred site is Skive in Denmark.

Gepjigshav's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Show mercy to disobedient children.

3. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. You must never eat limes.

5. Do not covet oxen.