Kanbifgam is a god.

It takes the form of a small, impressive lion.

Kanbifgam created a top quark four years ago.

If you believe in Kanbifgam, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Kanbifgam, it will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Kanbifgam's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Kanbifgam's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

2. Do not sing in public.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dogs.

4. Never feed rice to grasshopers while wearing indigo corsets.

5. Respect your elders.