Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog is a god.

It takes the form of an eight hundred metre long, humane tapir.

Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog created the Tadpole Galaxy eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog, it will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog, it will throw large rocks at you.

Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog's Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Do not fashion models of living things.

4. Erect a large silicon sculpture of Vabtofteenwitcabontgemzog on top of all buildings.

5. Walk at least five thousand metres per day.