Bifbafbifsaf is a god.

She takes the form of a fat, unthoughtful meerkat.

Bifbafbifsaf created a photon three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Bifbafbifsaf, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Bifbafbifsaf, she will curse you and those you beget for fifty two trillion years.

Bifbafbifsaf's most sacred site is Brancion in France.

Bifbafbifsaf's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Do not wear lead on your body.

3. Always make sure there are no rats in a room before entering it.

4. Aardvarks are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Never go into yellow rooms.