Yakomincum is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, proud eagle.

Yakomincum created tapeworms nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Yakomincum, it will make you lucky.

If you do not believe in Yakomincum, it will turn you into a goat.

Yakomincum's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Yakomincum's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Never hurt gulls.

3. Never eat rice.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Do not drink water in fawn rooms.