Bastjanbod is a god.

He takes the form of a very small, merciful mongoose.

Bastjanbod created the Milkyway two years ago.

If you believe in Bastjanbod, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bastjanbod, he will sneak up behind you and tap you on the back.

Bastjanbod's most sacred site is Goldcliff in Wales.

Bastjanbod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Hide from white whales for they are unholy.

3. Never jump near great tits.

4. Do not chop down trees.

5. Never think about gravity near pigs while wearing red stockings and balancing four copper spheres on your hands.