Pitbudnel is a god.

He takes the form of a rotund, stupid cat.

Pitbudnel created Europe five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Pitbudnel, he will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Pitbudnel, he will turn you into a dog.

Pitbudnel's most sacred site is Villaseta in Italy.

Pitbudnel's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven sharks approach from the east.

2. Always treat rats with great respect.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. You must pray to Pitbudnel nine times a day.

5. Do not eat garlic.