Vedkinrap is a god.

She takes the form of a six thousand metre long, calm penguin.

Vedkinrap created Africa four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vedkinrap, she will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Vedkinrap, she will ignore you and hope you go away.

Vedkinrap's most sacred site is Polagam in India.

Vedkinrap's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Vedkinrap.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.