Lintargtarp is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, moody crow.

Lintargtarp created the Cigar Galaxy three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lintargtarp, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Lintargtarp, he will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Lintargtarp's most sacred site is Kottucherry in India.

Lintargtarp's Holy Commandments

1. Fast once a month.

2. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

3. Never look in ponds.

4. Hide if seven manatees approach from the north.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.