Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, smart hippopotamus.

Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik created bats four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik, he will ignore you and hope you go away.

Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik's most sacred site is Insel in Germany.

Popwipjipvolcedsawspagtik's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Always look both ways before crossing roads.

5. Never wear shoes.