Dobbestgof is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, clever walrus.

Dobbestgof created dark matter three quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dobbestgof, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Dobbestgof, it will destroy your home planet.

Dobbestgof's most sacred site is Gara in Hungary.

Dobbestgof's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in black rooms.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate geese.

3. Never run near capybaras.

4. You must never eat turnips.

5. Do not trade with those who eat coconuts.