Tonmapbell is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, unjust bee.

Tonmapbell created oxygen four billion years ago.

If you believe in Tonmapbell, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Tonmapbell, he will laugh at you.

Tonmapbell's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Tonmapbell's Holy Commandments

1. Do not hurt horses.

2. Tonmapbell must be the most important thing in your life.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Tonmapbell loves dogs, so they must be respected.

5. Do not chop down trees.