Tamtabfar is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, passionate monkey.

Tamtabfar created energy two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Tamtabfar, he will ignore you forever.

If you do not believe in Tamtabfar, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Tamtabfar's most sacred site is Oppin in Germany.

Tamtabfar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

3. Do not wear silicon on your body.

4. Never feed beans to foxes while wearing orange jumpers.

5. Always make sure there are no birds in a room before entering it.