Flabpakweg is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely small, charitable centaur.

Flabpakweg created a top quark six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flabpakweg, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Flabpakweg, it will hide angry, poisonous spiders in your dwelling place.

Flabpakweg's most sacred site is Qantir in Egypt.

Flabpakweg's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never bounce near aardvarks.

4. Never wear hats.

5. Do not make images of living things.