Bestdumtun is a god.

He takes the form of a six thousand metre long, awesome wombat.

Bestdumtun created Mount Everest three million years ago.

If you believe in Bestdumtun, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Bestdumtun, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Bestdumtun's most sacred site is Troqueer in Scotland.

Bestdumtun's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from cyan pigs, for they are unholy.

2. Worship no other gods but Bestdumtun.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Retreat if seven nematodes approach from the east.