Kinbopmum is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, ill-tempered sheep.

Kinbopmum created the Whirlpool Galaxy six billion years ago.

If you believe in Kinbopmum, she will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Kinbopmum, she will ignore you.

Kinbopmum's most sacred site is Monong in Botswana.

Kinbopmum's Holy Commandments

1. Manatees are not to be trusted.

2. Never paint your neck cyan.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always wear orange.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.