Flamwigbab is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, fussy chicken.

Flamwigbab created carbon two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Flamwigbab, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Flamwigbab, he will attempt to scare you with hail.

Flamwigbab's most sacred site is Nakke in Denmark.

Flamwigbab's Holy Commandments

1. Always take life seriously.

2. Do not trade with those who eat peanuts.

3. Never sit in the presence of foxes.

4. Hide from black ants for they are unholy.

5. Always obey Flamwigbab's priests.