Ditkarbanlim is a god.

She takes the form of a slim, cheerful scorpion.

Ditkarbanlim created tapeworms seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Ditkarbanlim, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Ditkarbanlim, she will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Ditkarbanlim's most sacred site is Bokaa in Botswana.

Ditkarbanlim's Holy Commandments

1. Worship no other gods but Ditkarbanlim.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

5. Never play with disobedient children.