Flabfudkinfom is a god.

He takes the form of a microscopic, clever pig.

Flabfudkinfom created humankind twelve years ago.

If you believe in Flabfudkinfom, he will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Flabfudkinfom, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Flabfudkinfom's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Flabfudkinfom's Holy Commandments

1. Do not commit murder.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

3. Never write about horizontal gene transfer.

4. Always look after injured manatees.

5. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.