Woncaddonyam is a god.

He takes the form of a three hundred metre long, flying unicorn.

Woncaddonyam created the Milkyway two million years ago.

If you believe in Woncaddonyam, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Woncaddonyam, he will denounce you as a heretic.

Woncaddonyam's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Woncaddonyam's Holy Commandments

1. Hide if seven bats approach from the west.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of silicon.

3. Always help cats in need.

4. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

5. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.