Rowvogtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a chunky, irritating tapir.

Rowvogtaf created a down quark three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Rowvogtaf, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Rowvogtaf, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Rowvogtaf's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Rowvogtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Run away from mauve dolphins, for they are unholy.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate whales.

3. You must pray to Rowvogtaf seven times a day.

4. Never talk about the weak nuclear force.

5. Do not hurt horses.