Cisspinquag is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, wise chinchilla.

Cisspinquag created an up quark three million years ago.

If you believe in Cisspinquag, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Cisspinquag, it will try to impress you with rainbows.

Cisspinquag's most sacred site is Daren in Wales.

Cisspinquag's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no snakes in a building before entering it.

2. Never go into black rooms.

3. Do not kill badgers.

4. Run away if four gulls approach from the north.

5. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.