Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, calm aardvark.

Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet created everything that exists three trillion years ago.

If you believe in Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet, he will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet, he will destroy your favourite dwarf planet.

Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Wodlophun Tonpinrawap Vadbapbet's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from turquoise horses for they are unholy.

2. Never mention nematodes.

3. Never go into cyan rooms.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Never skip in the presence of snakes.