Haknatkik is a god.

He takes the form of a very large, ruthless cat.

Haknatkik created vertebrates two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Haknatkik, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Haknatkik, he will jump up and down on your head.

Haknatkik's most sacred site is Quenstedt in Germany.

Haknatkik's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not wear aluminium on your body.