Quafxemrow Tigsitnab is a god.

He takes the form of an one thousand metre long, almighty narwhal.

Quafxemrow Tigsitnab created Africa three thousand years ago.

If you believe in Quafxemrow Tigsitnab, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Quafxemrow Tigsitnab, he will turn you into a frog.

Quafxemrow Tigsitnab's most sacred site is Manakuppam in India.

Quafxemrow Tigsitnab's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Always help badgers.

4. Never write about evolution by means of natural selection.

5. Do not drink water in indigo rooms.