Tailfomwab is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly fat, thoughtless hedgehog.

Tailfomwab created a photon eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tailfomwab, it will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Tailfomwab, it will strike you with lightening.

Tailfomwab's most sacred site is Phepheng in Botswana.

Tailfomwab's Holy Commandments

1. Show mercy to disobedient children.

2. Do not laugh in public.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Never jump near badgers.

5. Erect a large lead sculpture of Tailfomwab on top of all buildings.