Tigzimraw is a god.

It takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, pitiless swallow.

Tigzimraw created oxygen six quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Tigzimraw, it will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Tigzimraw, it will turn you into a snail.

Tigzimraw's most sacred site is Makopong in Botswana.

Tigzimraw's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Run away if six hamsters approach from the south.

3. Respect your elders.

4. Always look after injured ducks.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.