Hamlimtikbag is a god.

He takes the form of a four thousand metre long, awesome faun.

Hamlimtikbag created tapeworms eight quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hamlimtikbag, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Hamlimtikbag, he will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Hamlimtikbag's most sacred site is Krina in Germany.

Hamlimtikbag's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Never pour water over plants.

3. Worship no other gods but Hamlimtikbag.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always pray immersed in water.