Jonwanpid is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, unfair alligator.

Jonwanpid created the solar system four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Jonwanpid, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Jonwanpid, he will destroy your home galaxy.

Jonwanpid's most sacred site is Littoinen in Finland.

Jonwanpid's Holy Commandments

1. Never look at nebulae.

2. Never think about horizontal gene transfer.

3. You must pray to Jonwanpid six times a day.

4. Always look after injured sharks.

5. Great tits are unholy and should not be approached.