Hivtargcen is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, overgenerous dugong.

Hivtargcen created a bottom quark two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Hivtargcen, he will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Hivtargcen, he will send four elderly elephants to rub you out.

Hivtargcen's most sacred site is Panayadikuppam in India.

Hivtargcen's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray immersed in water.

2. Never jump near aardvarks.

3. Never go into mauve rooms.

4. Do not drink alcohol.

5. Always make sure there are no grasshopers in a building before entering it.