Ripbosskipbat is a god.

She takes the form of an enormous, awe-inspiring narwhal.

Ripbosskipbat created Europe two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ripbosskipbat, she will look after your home planet.

If you do not believe in Ripbosskipbat, she will turn you into a rat.

Ripbosskipbat's most sacred site is Yongding in China.

Ripbosskipbat's Holy Commandments

1. Respect your elders.

2. Never wear dresses.

3. Always pray in complete darkness.

4. Always make sure there are no shrews in a building before entering it.

5. Never sit near horses.