Bitgebvonk is a god.

She takes the form of a planet-sized, staggering bat.

Bitgebvonk created the Sol system four million years ago.

If you believe in Bitgebvonk, she will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Bitgebvonk, she will have a very low opinion of you.

Bitgebvonk's most sacred site is Vestfold in Norway.

Bitgebvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never hurt goats.

2. Never mention ducks.

3. Hide if eight tapirs approach from the north.

4. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of gold.