Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely fat, deceitful turtle.

Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem created the universe nine million years ago.

If you believe in Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem, he will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem, he will attempt to scare you with strong winds.

Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem's most sacred site is Vandet in Denmark.

Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem's Holy Commandments

1. Never look in ponds.

2. Worship no other gods but Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem.

3. You must pray to Quartbunbog Xencedkimgodhabsomkongem eight times a day.

4. Feed all hungry great tits.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.