Matcusslarg is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, unfair coyote.

Matcusslarg created humanity six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Matcusslarg, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Matcusslarg, it will turn you into a slug.

Matcusslarg's most sacred site is Burras in England.

Matcusslarg's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate turtles.

2. Matcusslarg loves dolphins, so they must be honoured.

3. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.