Fidgumlarpfit is a god.

It takes the form of a corpulent, unthoughtful raven.

Fidgumlarpfit created the planet Saturn three billion years ago.

If you believe in Fidgumlarpfit, it will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Fidgumlarpfit, it will turn you into a mole.

Fidgumlarpfit's most sacred site is Taktser in China.

Fidgumlarpfit's Holy Commandments

1. Never paint your feet white.

2. Never talk about frogs.

3. Do not wear purple clothing.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not covet oxen.